3 Tips For Peaceful Co-Parenting After A Divorce
Sometimes a marriage is in such disrepair it is impossible to fix, and a divorce becomes inevitable. While many people find that going their separate ways is the best choice, when children are involved a divorce can become much more complicated. No matter how you feel about your ex-spouse, it is important to think about your kids and how they will react to a major change like divorce. If you're in the process of divorcing, use the following tips to ensure a peaceful custody arrangement and help your children adjust:
Use a Lawyer to Draw Up the Custody Arrangement
Some people think that determining custody is as simple as deciding how to split the time that the kids will spend with each parent, but in reality it is much more complicated. If you want a custody arrangement to be successful long term, it is essential to turn to your divorce lawyer or a family lawyer. Issues such as primary physical custody, legal custody, visitation, child support, and health insurance and schooling costs should all be included in a custody arrangement.
When your custody arrangement is drawn up by a lawyer and approved by a judge, it will be legally binding and both you and your ex-spouse must abide by all terms of the agreement. A legally binding custody arrangement can help prevent arguments between you and your ex-spouse, which will benefit your children in the long run.
Consider Professional Counseling
While your marriage may not be fixable, seeing a family counselor during divorce proceedings can be very beneficial to you, your children, and you ex. You may want to consider sessions where just your ex and yourself are present, so you can work with your counselor to develop a healthy co-parenting plan that will put the needs of your kids above any animosity or anger that you and your ex may have for each other.
Sessions with your children and ex can also be very helpful, as it will give your kids the opportunity to discuss any fears or negative emotions that they have regarding the divorce, and they will also see that their parents are willing to work together in a civil manner for their benefit.
Develop a Method of Low-Conflict Communication
No matter how you feel about your ex, the fact that you share children will mean that you will have to communicate from time to time regarding the kids. It is a good idea to develop a communication plan that is low-conflict and prevents any arguing or fighting between the two of you. E-mail and text messaging is ideal for divorced parents who need to discuss an issue with one of the kids, or make arrangements for vacations or a change in pick up or drop off times.
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